


A Little Spark of Heart

by RedOrchid



Series: Quid Pro Quo + extras [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Budding Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Surrogacy, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, non-traditional family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 15:57:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11512659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedOrchid/pseuds/RedOrchid
Summary: Lydia isn’t feeling well, and Izzy worries more than she’s willing to admit.





	A Little Spark of Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been sitting in my drafts for over a year, and now I finally found the time and inspiration to get it finished. (It also more than doubled in length, thanks to FannyT, aka my lovely beta. All the love to her. <3)
> 
> For those of you reading this as part of the [Quid Pro Quo series](http://archiveofourown.org/series/495217), this takes place between [Bittersweet](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7297462) and the [Quid Pro Quo epilogue](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6928525/chapters/16423945).

“Did you make breakfast this morning?” Clary asks, catching up with Izzy in the hallway with a worried look on her face. “Please tell me you did. I’m supposed to go with my mom to find her a wedding dress tomorrow, and then I promised Luke I’d go with him to look at flowers, and then I have my  _ own _ dress to find—I don’t have time to be sick.”

“Okay, so first, I’ve gotten way better at cooking since Alec moved out,” Izzy replies. “And secondly, shadowhunters are extremely hard to give food poisoning. Who’s sick?”

“Lydia,” Clary says. “She’s been throwing up in our bathroom all morning. And, like, not ‘I had a few too many drinks last night’ throwing up—the puking up your guts kind. It sounds really bad. And I can’t—puke is like the  _ one _ thing I just can’t handle, okay? I’m  _ really _ sorry I’m being such a bad friend.  _ You’re _ a great friend. Go check on Lydia, please? Love you!”

Clary quickly escapes down the hall, waving apologetically and giving Izzy a thumbs up before disappearing around a corner. As soon as she’s gone, Izzy turns around, walking back towards the sleeping quarters as quickly as she can without actually running.

She walks into Clary’s room and then over to the door that connects the room to the bathroom Clary shares with Lydia. Izzy raises her hand and knocks.

“Lydia, are you in there? Clary said you weren’t feeling well?”

There’s silence for a while, and then Izzy hears someone move around, and then the sound of a toilet being flushed and a tap starting to run.

“Lydia?”

“One moment, Izzy,” Lydia’s voice comes from the other side. “Let me just…” 

The tap is turned off, and a short while later, Lydia opens the door. Izzy’s eyes widen as she takes in her appearance. Lydia’s normally neat hair is in a messy bun that’s seconds away from falling down, her face is pale and blotchy all at once, and her eyes are red-rimmed and tired.

She looks terrible, but somehow still just as gorgeous as usual. Izzy feels a familiar tightening in her chest and does her best not to show it.

She isn’t quite able to stop herself from reaching out, however, her hand rising on instinct towards Lydia’s face and pushing a damp strand of hair behind her ear. “Hey. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Lydia says, and while her voice is firm, she’s not quite selling it. Nor is she pulling back from Izzy’s touch, and the moment grows charged as they stand there, looking at each other.

Lydia is the one to break the moment, crossing her arms over her chest and clearing her throat. 

“Look, it’s nice of you and Clary to keep an eye out, but you don’t need to worry. I’m just going to have a shower and then I’ll meet you in Command in fifteen, okay?”

She sways a little on her feet right after she says it, and Izzy’s worry grows. She lets her hand drop down to take hold of Lydia’s wrist, counting out her pulse while keeping close attention on her breathing. Both seem to be more or less within the normal range, but Lydia is clearly exhausted.

“You’re not going to work today,” Izzy says, moving in closer and getting an arm around Lydia’s back to steady her. “Let me take you back to bed, okay? You need rest. And liquids, if you’ve been throwing up even half as much as Clary says.”

Lydia doesn’t protest any further as Izzy guides her back to her bedroom, and that’s the most worrying symptom Izzy’s seen so far. She helps Lydia back into bed and starts pulling the blankets up. Lydia stops her, pushing the blankets down again and kicking them to the foot of the bed.

“Don’t. It’s already way too hot in here.”

Izzy frowns, then reaches out to feel Lydia’s forehead. “You don’t feel like you’re running a fever.”

“I’m  _ not _ ,” Lydia replies, sounding frustrated. “There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just—”

“Lydia, you’re puking your guts out.”

“I’m  _ fine _ .” She looks up at Izzy, her blue eyes seemingly pleading for Izzy believe her, and Izzy has to physically stop herself from sitting down on the bed and not leaving until Lydia’s back on her feet.

“You need liquids,” she says instead, putting a hand on Lydia’s shoulder and giving it a small squeeze. “I’m going to get you some water and some sweet tea, okay? I’ll be quick.”

As soon as she’s out of the door and far enough down the hall that Lydia can’t conceivably hear her, she picks up her phone and hits Magnus’ number on her speed dial.

It goes to voicemail twice before Magnus finally answers, sounding both out of breath and extremely annoyed at being interrupted. “Isabelle, I’ve been away on business in Tokyo for almost a week. Can whatever demon is out there wrecking havoc—Alexander,  _ stop that _ —just... wait, say, half an hour or so?” There’s a sound of rustling sheets, and Alec’s voice in the background saying something that’s pitched too low for Izzy to overhear. It draws a laugh from Magnus—one that ends in a pleased groan, and while Izzy would normally be happy to hang up on him with a lewd comment and a laugh, her instincts are telling her that there’s something bigger going on with Lydia than just stomach bug, and until they know what it is, she’s not going to put finding out on hold just so her brother can finish up… whatever he’s currently doing that has Magnus’ breath coming out in short, ragged gasps.

“Something’s wrong with Lydia. She’s—” she starts, and that’s how far she gets before she hears Magnus swear loudly on the other end. The line goes dead a split second later, and Izzy looks down at her phone in shock, feeling anger rise up inside her. She hits Magnus’ number again and gets sent directly to voicemail, then does it once more for good measure. She’s just hitting the button for Alec—all set to give her brother a piece of her mind—when a portal opens at the end of the corridor and Alec and Magnus come through, matching looks of panic on their faces.

“Where is she?” Alec demands, as soon as he sets eyes on Izzy. “Is she okay? What happened? Tell me!”

Izzy’s eyes widen. She grabs Alec’s arm, forces him to come to a stop. “Calm down. She’s in her room. Nothing happened, from what I know, but something’s wrong. Her pulse is slightly elevated, her breath is more shallow than usual, she’s pale and exhausted and she’s been throwing up. I don’t know what’s causing it, I thought maybe some kind of poison, I—” she stops short, watching the panic on her brother’s face melt into realisation, and then take on a decidedly guilty look.

“Alec, what’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?”

Alec looks from her to Magnus, clearly begging him for help with his eyes. Izzy crosses her arms and turns her attention to Magnus as well. “Are  _ you _ going to tell me, then?”

Magnus opens his mouth and quickly closes it again, then reaches out and takes Alec’s hand in his, pulling Alec to his side. “Perhaps this is a discussion we should have where we have a bit more privacy, and with Lydia there. Let’s go make sure she’s alright, and then we can decide on whether to portal back to the loft or stay here and put up some extra wards.”

He sends Izzy an apologetic smile and gestures for her to follow them. Izzy narrows her eyes. “This had better be good.”

“Oh it is,” Magnus says, a secret little smile spreading from the corner of his mouth. “It’s very,  _ very _ good, I promise.”

* * *

Izzy still feels as though she’s walking on clouds when she comes back through a portal from Magnus’ and Alec’s loft a few hours later.

An aunt. Alec is having a  _ baby _ , and she—Isabelle Lightwood—is going to be an  _ aunt _ .

At her side, Lydia wobbles, and Izzy immediately reaches out an arm to steady her.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just… portal travel always makes me a little dizzy, and right now, that’s—” She swallows thickly, some of the colour leaving her face. She clasps a hand over her mouth and runs off in the direction of her room.

Izzy starts off after her, then stops, reminding herself that throwing up is bad enough without an audience. She heads to the Institute kitchen instead, looks through the cupboards for crackers, finds some that don’t look too old and dry, and then pours water in a kettle and sets out making two cups of tea—regular black for herself, and Magnus’ special blend for Lydia. 

_ It’s ginger, lemon zest, mint, raspberry leaves, cardamom, and a little bit of magic, _ Magnus told them when he handed over the bag.  _ Catarina swears by it. Says it works like a charm—speaking of, there are a few charms I wanted to give you, Lydia, just a moment… _

Izzy smiles as she thinks back at Magnus’ obvious excitement. Both he and Alec are clearly over the moon, and while she always expected that Alec would love having kids, watching Magnus animatedly talk about reading baby books, and sharing his plans for baby-proofing the loft is a bit more of a surprise. A very good one.

She finishes the tea and brings it over to Lydia’s room, knocking softly on the door before entering. Lydia is back in bed, looking pale and, frankly, pretty miserable. Izzy feels a pang of worry as she walks closer and sets her tray down on the bedside table.

“I brought you some tea. How are you feeling?”

Lydia shrugs. “Tired, mostly. My throat hurts from all the acid.”

“Here, drink this. It’s the one Magnus made for you; it should make the morning sickness better, if nothing else.”

Lydia accepts the cup with a simple ‘thanks’, and sips from it in silence. Izzy sits down at the foot of the bed and does the same, the elation she felt at learning the news about the coming baby gradually shifting into worry, as she takes in Lydia’s tired face.

“Lydia, I’m sorry if I’m stepping over a line here, but I have to ask. How are  _ you _ feeling about this?”

Lydia takes another careful sip of her tea. “What do you mean?”

“Just—you’re having a baby,” Izzy replies. “But you don’t seem all that happy about it?”

Lydia looks at her for a long time, and then she gives another small shrug and turns her attention back to her tea cup.

“I’m happy about it in a sense,” she says. “I’m happy for Alec and Magnus, and for the baby itself, because they’re going to be a really great family.”

Izzy immediately picks up on what Lydia isn’t saying. Set against the backdrop of the conversation she just had with Alec and Magnus, however, it doesn’t make any sense. “They? Not ‘we’?”

Lydia takes another long sip of her tea, and then sighs as she puts the cup aside. “I don’t know, Izzy. My feelings about it are all over the place, and the hormones aren’t helping.”

Izzy frowns. “The way Alec and Magnus were talking, it didn’t sound like this was purely a surrogacy?”

“No, it actually is. At the core of it, at least. I mean, this is  _ their _ baby, not mine and Alec’s. But I... have the option to be more involved if I want to, which means that I have about eight months to figure out whether I want to be the baby’s Aunt Lydia, or if I want to actually be its… mom.”

She chokes a little on the last word, and then quickly rubs the back of her hand over her eyes. Izzy hurries to put down her cup and move up the bed, pulling Lydia into a hug before her tears start to fall in earnest.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Lydia manages, her voice muffled against Izzy’s neck. “I was really excited when Magnus found a spell to make the pregnancy happen, and I really am thrilled for the two of them, but ever since we found out it worked, I haven’t been able to stop crying.”

Izzy closes her eyes and hugs her harder. “It’s okay.”

“It’s so stupid,” Lydia chokes out. “I  _ planned _ this. I should be happy that it worked, not… a blubbering mess about it.”

Izzy nods and rocks her back and forth, trying to think of something to say that will help in any way.

“I thought I was pregnant once,” is what ends up falling from her lips, and Izzy immediately bites down on her lip, as though that could somehow take the words back again.

Lydia pulls away from her, surprise written all over her face. “What?”

“I was sixteen and hooked up with a Seelie boy. The condom broke, and before I knew it, I was five days late. I kept having nightmares about my mom finding out and going absolutely ballistic; it was awful.”

“I bet,” Lydia replies. “What happened?”

“I got a pregnancy test from a mundane drug store and hid out in the bathroom of a coffee shop.”

“And?”

“It came out negative. And instead of being relieved, I just went to pieces. Like you were saying, it made  _ no _ sense—it wasn’t like I  _ wanted _ to have a baby. And still, it was—bad. So I just wanted to say that I get the whole hormone thing coming to bite you in the ass. Even if I obviously don’t know exactly what you’re going through.” She reaches out for Lydia’s hand on impulse, squeezing it once to hopefully convey some sort of comfort.

Lydia nods, her eyes dropping to their joined hands. She turns her own hand a little, her fingers stroking across the back of Izzy’s, and the simple touch turns from comfort to something filled with the potential of  _ more _ . 

“I’m here if you need someone to talk to,” Izzy says. “Alec might be my brother, but that doesn’t mean I’m an extension of him.”

“Thanks, that’s really nice of you,” Lydia replies. She keeps her hold on Izzy’s hand, the tips of her fingers brushing light circles against Izzy’s palms.

Izzy lets her own gaze drop and then mimics the gesture. Lydia’s breathing hitches, and a moment later, she pulls back her hand, wiping the heel of it beneath her eyes instead.

“By the angel, I must look such a mess.”

It effectively breaks the moment, and Izzy realises that this is the perfect opportunity to just let matters drop and for them to fall back into their comfortable routine of being friendly colleagues.

Instead, she reaches forward, putting her hand to Lydia’s cheek. “Not at all; you’re beautiful.”

Lydia’s eyes widen a fraction, and then they flicker downwards for a moment before meeting Izzy’s eyes again, clouding over with emotions Izzy can’t decipher. “Izzy, I…”

Izzy immediately lets her hand fall, moving a little bit backwards for good measure. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s not—just. I don’t want to make any rash decisions,” Lydia explains, looking honestly upset. “With everything that’s going on, and my emotions all over the place… It just wouldn’t be fair. To either of us.”

Izzy nods, and even manages to put a smile on her face. “No worries. Hey, once you’re feeling better, what do you say we go check out the weapons room? There’s a new shipment from the Citadel that came in late last night.”

Lydia’s face lights up with genuine excitement, and Izzy feels her own smile grow wider as a result. 

“Text me when you’re feeling better,” she tells Lydia, and then makes her way off the bed. “I’ll be in the Ops Centre for most of the day, probably.”

“Will do,” Lydia replies. “And, Izzy? Thank you. For listening. And everything else.”

“My pleasure. Take care.”

“I will. Have a good day?”

“You too,” Izzy replies, and then forces herself to turn around and actually open the door. She holds up her hand in goodbye, and her heart skips a beat when Lydia mirrors the gesture.

She lets the door fall shut behind her and takes a deep breath.

Control. Work. Yes. Those are things she can definitely do.

And if there’s a bit more of a spring in her step than earlier that morning, the other shadowhunters all know better than to call her on it.

She walks down the corridor, a small, secret smile spreading across her lips.

Today is a very good day.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love! <3


End file.
